Day 17: Why I Got Jaw Surgery/Before Photos

I'd like to think that I did a pretty decent job of hiding my underbite in pictures that I let people see, which allowed me to conceal its severity-- to others and to myself.  I had developed little visual tricks: I would always turn my head at the same angle, never fully bit down, and smiled with my mouth slightly open, only revealing my top teeth.  While sitting in class or relaxing at home, I would unthinkingly rest my chin on my hand, pushing my jaw back into my skull and hoping it would stick that way.  Looking back, I recall never being in a fully relaxed position: I had become accustomed to straining the muscles in my neck to pull my jaw back as far as possible.  When talking to friends, as much as possible I would try and cover the lower half of my face with my hand.  As much as I had told myself in fear before surgery that this undertaking was unnecessary, that my bite didn't affect my life, that I had learned to live with it: I was lying.

When I try to see this situation objectively, this whole thing seems so brutally insignificant.  Compared with so much deeper suffering?  In the broad scheme of things, a jaw surgery seems to be something unworthy of making such a fuss over. (I always make too big a deal of things!)  Regardless, it's funny how something so seemingly insignificant can dictate someone's every thought and movement.

This is why I now know that the decision to get surgery was the right one.  I had the opportunity and the means to improve this one little aspect of myself, my life didn't have to be adjust, settle, deal, adapt, accommodate.  At least not in this area: this was fixable.  I took a round of pictures the night before surgery on my Photobooth (I'm cursing myself for not taking better-looking ones!) so I could try and get a clear picture of exactly what my pre-surgery bite looked like.  This also served to convince myself once-and-for-all that I needed this surgery.  I got a little silly, but hopefully these will give you a better picture of my bite discrepancy!

 I was biting down in this picture-- ahh!

  

Aaaaand here's my profile now:

And look at DIS!

 Yay!