Showing posts with label jaw surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jaw surgery. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Update from Allie!

It's funny how after all of the pain and suffering, stress, insecurity, frustration, joy, depression, impatience, and multitude of varied emotions that accompany this surgery and its extensive recovery, life starkly refocuses itself after it's all over.  Back to the future, back to relationships, back to exploring the possibilities that lie within you.  During the surgery process, my mind was consumed by the feel and appearance of my jaw, a small and largely insignificant aspect of myself.  Now those few months of my life are so distant, so intangible that it is difficult to realize that they happened at all.

After the braces were removed, I returned to school with my head held high.  Did the surgery fix everything? No.  Do I consider my jaw/facial structure to now be perfect? No.  Am I satisfied with the results and believe the surgery, to be worth all the suffering? Yes I do.

The preoccupation with my jaw has largely vanished, leaving me, at this highly transitional and formative period in my life, to return to learning about myself and the world I live in, growing, and gleaning as much happiness as I can from every beautiful moment while I am capable.

Recently, my time has been consumed by track season(sorry for not posting!).  This summer, I have an internship at an online publication (which means I can travel!), and will then be spending my fall semester abroad in Valparaíso, Chile studying Cultural Identity, Social Justice, and Community Development.  I am optimistic about the future and am gaining confidence in my goals, desires, and interests.

The response to this blog has been overwhelming-- I never dreamed that it would reach so many other patients looking for information about surgery!  I read everything that people write and have definitely teared up at some of the comments I have gotten, you all are so wonderful.  Thank you for being amazing!

And to the jaw surgery patients who are thinking about surgery, about to get surgery, recovering from surgery: YOU are incredible.  You have seized an opportunity to refocus your mind on aspects of life much more worthy of your attention than jaws and teeth.  The suffering, albeit awful, is such a short hurdle to jump in the grand scheme of things.

To end, here are some recent pictures because everyone loves those!












Aaaaaaand here's my teeth from beginning to end:

Before:

3 Months Invisalign Braces:

Regular Braces/Underbite in all its glory

 Done!

<3

PS. I love smiling now.  I LOVE IT.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Day 36: Cephalometric Scans & Diagnosis Details

I will begin by saying that today welcomed a much better mood than yesterday.  I spent the day at the beach with a friend and went out for sushi: my first meal in a restaurant since surgery!  Eating presented a bit of a challenge, but in small enough pieces I can pretty much eat all foods now.  I was definitely embarrassed having to speak with waitresses and such in my near-unintelligible splint-voice, but overall I am happy to be feeling a bit more normal little by little.

Today I received my cephalometric scans as well as additional information on my condition from my oral surgeon.  The "ceph" is a lateral view of the skull, a scan performed by placing the patient's head in a large robotic torture device that consists of metal plugs that rest uncomfortably in her ears to keep her head steady.  The scans are then analyzed for fixed bony points in the skull.  Lines are drawn between those points, measurements are taken, and angles are compared with a series of norms to determine the severity of the patient's condition and establish plans for surgery.

Here is the analysis of my underbite:


And here was the projected outcome:


From these scans, my oral surgeon determined my diagnosis to be a class III malocclusion with a maxillary hypoplasia.  He could also discern that my mandible was in a proper position and therefore it was only my maxilla that needed advancing.  The exact plan for my surgery was as follows: I required a two-piece segmental LeFort I osteotomy to correct my transverse discrepancy in a 5mm advancement and midline correction.  The e-mail I received also contained some god-awful "before" mug shots that nobody will ever see because they are the most hideous, repulsive photos I have ever seen of anyone ever.  

So that's it!  If you were ever curious about the details, there you go!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Day 32: Returning To Normal Life?

Splint-filled life is slowly beginning to resemble regular life: I'm feeling less like a patient and more like a person.  Today consisted of hanging out at the beach with a friend, watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and eating mac and cheese, pumpkin bread, and various other normal foods!  Though I can chew a little now, I still spit and stumble when I speak.  I am still reluctant to completely rejoin society as I am obviously self-conscious about the splint, but feel a strong obligation to return to work.  My boss has been more than accommodating: because I have to be able to talk for the job I haven't been in the office for this entire month!  I've decided to go back Thursday.  It will be strange to go out in public like this, but I keep telling myself that I need to be eased back in.  Life doesn't stop with jaw surgery, as nice as it would be to go to some island and chill there for another month until all of this is over.

My friend's dog helping the healing process.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Day 30: New Obstacles

Eating has proved to be equally, if not more, of a challenge now that the bands are removed.  Liquids are infinitely easier to consume, but I am desperate to graduate to more normal foods.  Unfortunately, attempting to eat solids is excruciating.  I tried scrambled eggs this morning, and due to the limited movement of my jaw, could only scoop in tiny pieces at a time with a spoon.  The process took ages: I felt like that Buddhist prince who tried to achieve nirvana by eating a grain of rice per day!
I was successful with a Cup of Noodles though, which was amazing.  However, the way I ate felt disgusting: it was a slobbery display in which I used my tongue to maneuver the noodles into my mouth then mashed them around in an attempt to chew.  Regardless, I ate those noodles. And did not have to puree them.  YES.  Also whenever I'm hungry, the image of a syringe pops into my brain and I constantly have to remind myself that I am done with those horrible things for good!

Now that my mouth is gaining more feeling bit by bit, the pain of extended talking is near unbearable due to the thick metal wires under my gums that stick the inside of my cheeks and lips.  My tongue, which has finally escaped from its prison, can now feel the tender, torn flesh.  I layered dental wax on the worst offenders, but the wires seem to be sticking out everywhere.  Sometimes a lip gets caught while talking and-- OUCH.  Not a pleasant experience.  The stitches under my upper lip are also coming out, which I asked my surgeon about.  His response was dismissive-- apparently they are supposed to dissolve?

Here's a close up of what's going on in there (kinda gross, sorry!): 

The white stuff is wax, don't worry!

The splint is that clear plastic thing that fits over my upper teeth-- it extends all the way back like a retainer.  According to the surgeon, the epoxied brackets were not strong enough to hold my jaw in place during surgery, so he fashioned the wires on the bottom around my teeth and under my gums.  Those things are the worst.  

I'm not sure if it's evident from this picture, but my bite is now perfect!  Once all of that crazy metal is removed, my teeth will fit together quite nicely.  At this I am so relieved-- this lengthy ordeal is proving to be worth it.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Day 28: 4 WEEKS BANDS ARE OFF!! PICS&VIDEO! :) :)

BIG DAY TODAY!  I arrived at the surgeon's for my appointment hoping for the best, but honestly expecting nothing.  He had assured me that I would be in fixation for a solid six weeks, today's appointment being only to loosen the bands holding my jaws together.  However, when the surgeon strolled casually into the room as he always seems to do, he nonchalantly remarked, "Have we cut those bands off yet?  What has it been, six weeks now?"  I instantly was shaking with excitement- was today going to be the day I would be able to eat and talk again?  He bent down and squinted, examining my teeth.  He nodded.  "Okay, try not to move your jaw around too much, you're going to be sore after," YES IT WAS!  
Opening my mouth again was a strange, almost alien sensation.  I was instantly a lot more conscious of the big plastic splint in my mouth, and the fact that it smelled.  Awful.  I practiced trying to talk in the bathroom mirror, the voice coming naturally, but painfully due to the metal wires jutting into the inside of my mouth.  However, on the car ride home, I was overcome with joy: I CAN TALK AGAIN!  I excitedly began to speak with my parents, called friends, and took some pictures:








































My tongue can finally see the light of day!

I was STOKED.  My first order of business as soon as I got home was to EAT SOLID FOOD.  My mom made me some pasta, and I quickly realized that I was biting off more than I could chew. (HA!) My mouth can only open so far, and my joints were giving me a head and neckache from the chatting.  I could only eat via swallowing one pasta shell at a time whole, which was excruciating.  Unfortunately, I will have to hold off on solid foods for a little longer.  But still, it's a HUGE step towards normalcy.  We happily threw away all the syringes that have littered the house for the past month and broke out the baby spoons.  YES!

Because it's my first opportunity to talk, I also decided to record a video so that readers of this blog could more easily visualize my face and hear my gargly voice:

That's an attractive thumbnail photo.

It's strange to suddenly be granted speech again.  After such a long period of silence, I have to actively remind myself that I'm able to articulate the thoughts in my head.  This blog has been my voice for the past month, writing and art my means of expression.  I felt like a monk, exploring my thoughts, feelings, and capabilities while under a vow of silence.  It was a unique experience, one I never would have undertaken had I not been forced to by this surgery.  Though I learned a lot, I am definitely grateful for the silent stage in my life to have ended.  There's still a long way to go, but today marked a massive milestone in my journey!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Day 27: Insurance Worries

Wrestling with insurance coverage is a topic central to most other jaw surgery blogs I've seen, and I realize I haven't talked about it at all!  Initially, we encountered a lot of trouble trying to get my insurance to cover my surgery.  My secondary health care plan denied coverage on the basis of... nothing.  Seriously, nothing.


Wait what?

Bottom line: the second highlighted bit that says orthognathic surgery jaw alignment is covered.  I guess what happened is that whoever reviewed my case did not understand anything, and thought I was getting jaw surgery as treatment for sleep apnea.  My dad hastily wrote an appeal to this decision, stating that I what I was getting was orthognathic surgery, a functional necessity that should be covered under insurance.  This morning, I received this letter: 


Covered -yay!


Phew, that saved a couple thousand dollars!  Surgery's still not free, and my parents had to pay a deductible, but this sure helped a lot.  Insurance companies are annoying things-- I'm so fortunate to have parents in the medical field who know how to deal with them!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Day 26: Flexibility

Excitement for the day: I was having some chocolate ice cream after dinner tonight when the syringe just absolutely EXPLODED.  Everywhere.  Chocolate got all over my face, the couch, my clothes, just UGH everywhere.  #liquiddietproblems.  And this isn't the first time this has happened: I'm still finding dried applesauce all over the kitchen!  I will be so happy when I can eat normally again!

Other than that little fiasco, today mostly consisted of trying to stay limber.  My muscles have been unusually tight lately and my back has been in spasm from inactivity.  (In addition to the whole jaw problem, I also have moderate to severe scoliosis, but that's a whole different story-- I got the best genes I know)  So, I picked through YouTube to find yoga and zumba videos and spent the day keeping flexible in a sports bra and spandex!  Now I'm feeling so much better!  I'm just itching to be active again, but it's difficult if I can't open my mouth to breathe.  One more day till my appointment with the surgeon!  Crossing my fingers that he'll be in a good mood and take off my bands.

What I was up to today!

OH and also a bit of good news: I had this muscle in my face that's been so painful to move whenever I tried to smile that now doesn't hurt anymore!  I still experience weird sensations when I animate, but it's mostly feelings of numbness and soreness.  No more pain woohoo! :)

Day 25: Silent Expression

I woke up today feeling artsy as HELL.  The morning consisted of downloading a plethora of new music which I then listened to all afternoon while sketching on the patio in a wifebeater and pajama pants!

Look at how happy she is without braces... 

Losing my voice has steered me towards alternative modes of expression, namely writing and art!  I've become so much more in touch with creativity now that I've had all this excess time to myself.  This I am grateful for and appreciative of, but the aftermath of jaw surgery still sucks.  I guess I'm just still seeking out positivity in the midst of all this shit.  Things have been stable for so long that I need to actively remind myself that I will not have to be silent or foodless forever.  I've almost become accustomed to this lifestyle.  Maybe some small part of me will miss not feeling the obligation to go out or speak-- it's an opportunity to learn more about oneself.  Though I still see friends, it's usually to just to watch a movie or show (I can't do much!).  It might even be strange to readjust to my previous life of talking, eating, smiling.  What if I can't remember how?

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Day 23: Girl With A Pearl Earring

Maybe I'll become a psychiatrist after all of this.  In my state of being unable to talk, I have spent a great deal more time listening to and understanding others.  Last night while hanging out with a close friend, she remarked to me that the best friends are those who can exchange no words without any awkwardness or feeling of obligation to speak.  If nothing else, I really have learned through this experience just how fortunate I am to have such wonderful people in my life that love me no matter what condition I'm in!  And after college, an environment in which I am constantly surrounded by a large variety of people, I have now come to appreciate solitude and self-reflection time.  I have also acquired a lot of patience.  Also thanks to some Youtube videos that some friends and I watched one night, I now know several dirty words in sign language. hahaha.

I took this photo of my profile today:


Channelling Vermeer's Girl With A Pearl Earring?



Day 22: Post-Surgery Food List!

Opened my fridge today and saw this:

I've taken over the refrigerator!

And I realized that although I addressed it briefly in this post, I wanted to make a definitive list of all the liquid-type foods I have been eating while in fixation!  If you're getting surgery in the future and need some suggestions on what to stock up on, I recommend:

GoGo Squeezes: All the little green pouches of applesauce in the picture!  I absolutely love these because they are delicious and easy to eat.  Apple-cinnamon is my favorite!  The only problem is they don't fill you up all that much, not that any of these foods really do. 

Ensure Plus: For getting in those calories!  Lots of protein and vitamins and minerals and all that good stuff.  I like the taste too: a lot of protein shakes have a grainy, medicinal texture, but this just tastes like chocolate milk.  Also good for mixing with ice cream!

Naked Juice: Yummy in the mornings, and fills you up more than you would think!

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Shakes: I'm big on chocolate, and this shake is chocolate-packed and contains lots of protein and other nutrients!

V8 Fusion Juice: To get in those servings of fruits and veggies!

Graduates Grabbers: Applesauce similar to GoGo squeeze.  There are a lot more flavor options, but not all of them are fantastic.

I did not like the taste of: Muscle Milk (ew), or Myoplex original (more ew).  
In addition to these foods, I mostly eat blended soups, melted ice cream, and smoothies.  I also take an iron supplement which can be mixed with fruit juice.  I can only eat what fits through the syringe, which means I can't have any little chunks that easily get stuck.
If your surgery is coming up in the near future, make sure to determine what you like and get a lot of it! Liquids hold me for a little while, but I get hungry very quickly and frequently.  It's been a challenge to keep my weight up (I'm still at about five or six pounds less than where I started), but the protein shakes help!  It's crazy that I've survived like this for so long.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Day 21: THREE WEEKS!

Wow, three weeks since surgery--  so hard to believe!  It feels great to have the worst behind me.  I've been venturing out in public a little more as well: a friend and I went to see The Amazing Spiderman today!  I definitely felt a little awkward not being able to talk- she had to buy my ticket for me and I just had to nod to everyone.  I've had to miss out on a lot due to recovery, so it's nice to get out and do something normal once and awhile!


Sent this to a friend while in the car-- silly.  My dad won't let me drive because if I get pulled over I won't be able to defend myself!


Because it's been three weeks, here are some progress pics:




















My swelling's nearly gone from my cheeks (it's there on the right) but it's still around my lip area. It's not that visible from these pictures.

When I bite down, I feel as if my teeth touch more on the left side than the right.  I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not, but it's something I'm going to bring up with my surgeon when I finally see him!

I also jogged a little for the first time since surgery, which felt amazing.  My legs had been withering away from underuse, my muscles were aching, and I've been very lethargic.  Because I can't vent air from my mouth, I have refrained from exercising too strenuously.  Regardless, it's so important to try to move those muscles during recovery!  I'm embarrassed at how out of shape I must be, it's gonna be hell working myself up for track season again!

I know I keep saying this over and over, but I miss food.  So, so very much.  I had never been one for fine dining in my pre-surgery life.  On the contrary, I ate very little, taking only what I needed to satisfy hunger and then not caring to finish the rest.  Food was never at the forefront of my priorities; rather, it always lingered in the background somewhere as a boring necessity.  Now food is all I think about-- maybe I'll develop an interest in cooking or something after all this!  Oh, what I would give to bury my teeth in a soft, savory, sweet turkey burger right now.  My stomach is audibly groaning at the thought!  Someday we'll be together again, food my love.  Someday.




Thursday, July 5, 2012

Day 20: FIRST SMILE IN 3 WEEKS!!! :)

The title says it all!  After nearly three weeks of being unable to smile, I finally got my facial muscles to do my bidding!  Greatest day ever.  It looks weird because of the bands, but here are some pics:

My bottom lip appears to still be sticking out in front when I smile in profile, but it's much less noticeable than it was before surgery.  

It definitely hurts a bit, but I consider today to be a big step!  I can now tell I'm going to be happy with the results of surgery.  My midline is definitely off, which I'm just being nitpicky about, but this is a huge improvement from before!  I can't wait to be rid of all the other shit in my mouth and see my braceless smile!  Happy day! :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Day 18: Opinions From Family

Because it's the Fourth of July season, today I went to go visit family at the beachhouse they rent out every year.  It was the first time they had seen me since surgery, so I got some fresh opinions on the changes in my appearance!

My baby cousin- just look at this little guy!

I got mixed reviews -  some say they only see a slight change, and others said, "Wow, you look so DIFFERENT!" Ideally, I would like people to see a little change, but I want to be recognizable!  My family also led a discussion on my nose and speculated on its origins. ("The tip is definitely like Sally's nose.  Or Chris', but smaller.  Definitely a Curtis nose.")  In general though, they responded positively to the change.  I'm hoping others will do the same!  I'm holding off forming a definite opinion on how I look until the swelling is totally down and I'm able to see my face animate a bit more.  But I'm pretty sure I'm going to be happy with it!
Tomorrow's the Fourth of July, and unfortunately I am pretty limited given I am rounding out my third week of being unable to talk or eat solid food.  Because talking and eating (as well as drinking) are the staples of this holiday, I don't think I'm really going to celebrate this year.  Which sucks of course, but there's really nothing I can do about it.  My cousin suggested pumping sweet tea-flavored vodka into my syringe to try and make me feel better, but it's just not the same.  That's another thing about this surgery-- its full of sacrifices!  Just hoping all of this will be worth it in the end.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Day 15: Art & Things Are Looking Up!

Another good day!  Two in a row?  Ridiculous! Another friend from school came to visit today, making this weekend the most heavily populated one for me since surgery.  As I discussed in another post, I feel like isolating oneself is the quickest road to depression!  It's so important to see friends, even though I feel dumb that I'm unable to talk, eat, or smile with them.  The muscles in my face that I am able to use are still sparse, so I have formed a compensatory funny-looking closed mouth smile.

Not liking my weird closed-mouth smile, hoping things improve soon!

I also did some drawing today, such a great stress reliever!  I've always been drawn to drawing profiles (pun?), something which stems from my insecurity about my own.  I'm sure fellow jaw surgery patients can relate: once you are aware of the abnormality in your bite, you become so hyper-aware of profiles!  Where someone else would say, "Wow what a pretty girl!" I am thinking,  "Damn that's a nice profile."

Nowhere close to finished yet!




I am a little worried that a lot of my facial muscles are still numb or painful to use. When I try and animate, it feels lopsided. I sincerely hope this returns to normal- what use is a normal bite if my face is all messed up? I'm not sure if I should be doing any type of muscle rehabilitation given that my surgeon said nothing on the subject.
Here are my progress pics, which I will probably be posting less of because my swelling has more or less stabilized:




Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 14: Two Weeks !!

Today marks TWO WEEKS SINCE SURGERY!  And it was a good day!  My friend and I visited another friend from school who recently had surgery on her feet: it was a great scene- she couldn't walk and I couldn't talk!  Nevertheless, I was thrilled to finally get out of the house for a reason other than an appointment.  I was a little wary about going at first, feeling uncomfortable that I was a little puffy-faced and still totally unable to talk or smile.  But once I got there, I was so happy to be out and in the company of friends!  Here are some photos from the day:

Pensive pose.
 She's imitating my poker face - I got a little smile going!

This photo would be so much cuter if I could smile-- Love these girls!

This morning on a whim, I downloaded an iPhone app called "Speak It!", which translates your text into speech.  When I first tried it out, it seemed absolutely ridiculous.  The app contains four voice options: British woman, American woman, British man, and American man.  It swallows your typed word and regurgitates a monotonic robot voice - I felt like Stephen Hawking using it!  I couldn't resist cracking up (painfully!) when I tried it and whomever I was trying to communicate with thought it was hilarious too!  Despite its silliness, it is very useful if you are trying to speak to someone who is driving or unable to come over and read the words on your whiteboard.  It's $1.99, but I think it's well worth it if you're going to be in fixation for a while!

Even though it's only been two weeks, I feel like the surgery was a lifetime ago.  Each day of recovery feels so lengthened by obstacles and emotions that time begins to move more and more slowly and passively.  Regardless, I am definitely aware of how much the swelling has ebbed since day one: I'm looking like me again!  I'm so glad that my nose has turned down a bit and my top lip is less Lana Del Rey-esque.

Here are today's progress pics:

























My top lip isn't sticking out further than the bottom anymore and I'm not sure how I feel about this. I am much more recognizable though - so relieved!

Day 13: SURGERY TIPS & ADVICE!

Because nothing of real interest happened today, I thought I'd offer a few tips if you are reading this and happened to be getting the surgery in the future!  My surgeon briefed me on the logistics of surgery, but little else.  The only reason I felt reasonably well-equipped to handle this was by reading tips posted on other blogs.
So here's what I have learned from my experience so far:

1. Be prepared.
This is a huge process, don't go into it cold!  Essentials for me were:
  • Syringes: I'm in fixation for much longer than I expected to be.  Because of this, the only way of feeding myself is through the small spaces behind my teeth.  The syringe alone doesn't reach so far, so my dad brought home rubber attachments such as these which make it much easier to get food back there.  I bought NutriSqueeze bottles as well, but because the nozzles are plastic, they are more difficult to maneuver.
  • Blender: Essential for the horrible liquid diet!  We happened to have a VitaMix blender in the house which works really well.  Some people I've talked to simply pulverized all their meals during recovery, from turkey dinners to fish and burgers.  From my first liquidized muffin, I knew this route wasn't for me.  Liquid versions of solid foods contain the taste, but the texture leaves much to be desired.  So far I've stuck to:
  • Liquid foods: Getting all your calories in during the liquid diet is essential!  My refrigerator is stocked with Ensure Plus, Naked Juice smoothies, and GoGo Squeezes among other similar products.  These usually hold me for breakfast and lunch, and I cycle through a variety of hearty soups for dinner(the soups require blending- little bits of anything get stuck so easily and are very difficult to remove!).  The liquid diet slowly becomes one of the toughest parts of surgery. The best way to handle it is reminding yourself that it's not permanent- solid foods are in your future!
  • Hygiene products: As I stated in another blog post, I have been using Peridex as a means of cleaning my mouth.  In the first few days after surgery, I couldn't move my lips much, so I just blasted my teeth with a NutriSqueeze bottle.  Now I have been syringing the stuff into my mouth and swishing it around- it's the only way to try and clean that damn splint.  Ask your dentist for baby toothbrushes- my mouth has been too sore to use these much yet, but they'll come in handy soon.
  • Entertainment: Is there a movie you've always wanted to see?  A book you've wanted to read but never had the time?  Then the post-surgery life is for you!  The recovery period is just satiated with large amounts of absolutely nothing.  This is your chance to do what you've always told yourself there's no time for!  Stock up on the things you like, cause you'll have lots of time to enjoy them.  Also, bring an iPod and cell phone to the hospital for the overnight: the music gets you through the night and the phone is useful for typing out messages.
  • Meds: The hospital will probably recommend these for you, but I had Tylenol with codeine every four hours for the first few days(which makes you very sleepy!) in conjunction with children's Motrin.  There isn't much pain from surgery, you're mostly numb.  The first few days are mostly just a barrage of horrible inconveniences.  One of which: CONGESTION.  My nose bled like crazy the first week, get Afrin, Flonase, or some other type of decongestant.  Get lots of tissues as well, you're gonna need a bunch!
  • Dental wax: Ask your orthodontist for lots of this before surgery.  Prepare to be poked!  You aren't going to worry about this at first because there is so much more to occupy your time, but eventually you will realize that your cheeks are getting torn up from all that extra metal!
  • Ice: ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE.  From the overnight in the hospital to the following few days, CONSTANTLY ICE YOUR FACE.  It relieves the pain and tingling, keeps the swelling at a minimum, feels awesome, and is pretty good for your skin too. The first two or three days I almost never didn't have icepacks on my face.  Even all through the night.  To see what I did for ice the first night in the hospital, refer to this post.
2. Expect the unexpected.
If your surgeon's anything like mine, he gave you very vague estimates of how long fixation will be, when the splint will come out, et cetera.  Some things the surgeon just doesn't know until he starts poking around in your skull.  For me, the issue was that I happened to have very thin facial bones.  Because of this, I am in fixation for an excruciating six weeks, having been previously told it would only be two.

3. Silence sucks.
With the large plastic splint and my jaws totally shut, I am completely unable to talk.  I didn't expect this to be such a major issue that persists for so long, but it really takes a toll.  The inability to express oneself is one of the most frustrating situations to be in.  Constantly have something on hand in which you can write/type out messages so you don't feel so inadequate.  UPDATE: iPhone users-- try the app "Speak It"  for converting text into speech- I talk more about it in this post.

4. Hospitals aren't perfect.
Naively, I assumed that the hospital would cater to my every need in the night of suffering after surgery.  This was not the case.  The last time I had surgery, it was in a children's hospital, where someone is attending the patient constantly.  For my night in the hospital, I relied on my parents much more than the nurses.  I talk about this more here- but in short, the staff didn't quite know what to do with me.  Hopefully this won't happen to you, but a word of caution: be ready to do some stuff on your own, no matter how miserable you are after surgery!  Definitely have someone stay with you overnight if possible.

5. Get ready to get emotional.
This is a tough, tough process to go through.  Although I can't describe exactly what you'll be feeling, you will probably encounter a whirlwind of emotions.  It's extremely important to garner some kind of support system: your friends, family, or people on the internet.

6. Be patient.
This surgery is a huge waiting game.  There's a lot of healing to be done, so all you can do is try and occupy your time.  Look at this as an opportunity to do what you never had time to before, learn new things, read, relax!

7.  BLOG!
Blogging has proved to be a fun and therapeutic activity during this process.  Reading others' stories lets you know what to expect from surgery and sharing your own helps you sort out your emotions, pass the time, and proudly create something that may help others.  There is a surprisingly large community of people here in the blogosphere who have had the same surgery.  Know that you aren't alone in this, you can reach out to people who know exactly what you're going through!

I will probably add to this list in the future - right now I can't think of anything else.  But final thoughts: look at this surgery as a chance to improve yourself, you deserve the most out of life!  It's a long and arduous process, but with the right perspective, it can become a learning and growing opportunity that you will be glad to have weathered in the end.  Good luck! :) 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 12: Pre-braces Facebook Photos

Food is like an ex-boyfriend to me now.  I seem to see it everywhere, think about it all the time.  Now that we are unable to be together, I feel as though I didn't truly appreciate what a fabulous relationship we once had.  I just didn't realize how much I loved it: now it's absence gnaws away at my heart. (Pun intended)  Sure I mess around with Ensure and GoGoSqueeze to indulge my appetite, but it's not the same. 

Other than the wires that continue to scrape up the inside of my lips, not much is new in regards to teeth.  I just wish time would move faster so that I'll be able to use them again.

I still cannot decide if I am content with the changes in my appearance.  After recently being tagged in a Facebook photo, I began absentmindedly poring over old pictures of myself.  Although I know I did not get this surgery for cosmetic reasons, I can't help thinking that I didn't mind the way I looked back then.  Sure I was insecure about my bite and experienced functional issues, but these pictures exude a confidence that I forgot once I got braces. 

Here are some pictures for a better idea of what I looked like before:

 I didn't like my bite but I knew how to pose for pictures- I would always turn my head at the same angle to the side where I felt I was the most photogenic.

It is possible that I may just be getting nostalgic for happier times- this whole process definitely takes a toll!  I think I just miss the period before all the metal in my mouth.  And just as I inexplicably torture myself by watching the food channel, I continue to torture myself by looking at photos of a braceless, happier me.  But once all of this is over, I think I will be happy with my final result.

This is what I look like now:













































I look really tired!  Got too much on my mind to sleep lately.