Day 65: Surgery Timeline In Teeth Pictures

I really don't know what's going on with my teeth at this point.  Sometimes I feel like they touch on the left side, sometimes I can bite down on my right, I just don't know!  Things are hopefully moving towards proper occlusion, but it is difficult to tell.

I thought I'd post a few pics of what my sad little mouth has been through in the past few months:

PRE-BRACES

THREE MONTHS IN BRACES

POST-SURGERY BANDS

BANDS OFF AT ONE MONTH POST-SURGERY

WIRES AND SPLINT REMOVED TWO MONTHS POST-SURGERY

Notice the slight tilt and small gap in between my two front teeth.  I know I'm obsessing over these little details but I expect perfection after all of this!  These pictures show the massive improvement in my bite though-- I had nearly forgotten how much of a gap I had.  To my jaw surgery patient readers: there is a light at the end of this very long tunnel! :)

Day 59: Profile Sketch & SPLINT OUT TOMORROW!

Drew this self-portrait of my profile today...

Drawn from this photo.  

...at work.  I have been extremely productive lately haha.

The splint comes out tomorrow and I am so incredibly ready.  Part of me thought this day would never come!  As I said before, I am a little weary about the anesthesia, but I almost feel like a surgery veteran now-- I know exactly what to expect!  After such a length of time dealing with remnants of surgery still in my mouth, I am itching with anticipation.  No more invasive poky wires or awkwardly having to repeat myself when others can't understand me?  I am SO ready.  Though I have to grudgingly accept braces for the next few months, they pale in comparison to everything else I've had to deal with.  Finally, I'll have a little normalcy!

Day 58: Old Unflattering Photo

The splint removal date is so close I can taste it!  I've often wondered how long I'll be able to keep this a blog daily and determined that after splint removal, I'll only update periodically when something jaw-related happens.  I'm proud of myself for being consistent for this long, but I'm already running out of interesting things to talk about.

While looking through old photos of the good old days when I was just a little sophomore in high school (four years ago before recent orthodontics!), I happened upon this awful picture: 

UNDERBITE CENTRAL!  It's photos like this that made me glad I got surgery- yikes!

Day 57: Summer Is Almost Over?

Aaahh I missed my first day of blogging!  I slept over at a friend's last night and didn't get a chance to update.  So I'm going to cheat a little and post this one today!  Here are some pics of last night:

I cannot believe that summer is finally coming to an end in a few weeks.  It seemed to drag on ceaselessly for the longest time, steeped in a miserable recovery and endless boredom.  I couldn't wait for it to end!  However now that I've been allowing myself happiness again, I wish I had a little more post-splint time.  Most of the friends I've seen over the past few weeks I may not reunite with again for several months-- they are scattered all over the country!  I am grateful for what little time I had with them, though it feels like not enough.  I am also so happy to almost be done with the worst part of this process.  Despite the whole jaw deal, I have managed to carve out a pretty decent summer. :)

Day 56: Anesthesia For Splint Removal

THREE DAYS until splint freedom.  Apparently, going under anesthesia for splint removal isn't entirely that common among other jaw surgery patients, so I thought I'd describe the process a little.  I've not been allowed to take pain medication for the past week or so which has intensified the pain of my ripped lips, ugh!  Also, I can't eat or drink anything for several hours before the procedure-- it's like going into surgery all over again.  It should take less than a half hour and my mouth is expected to be very sore afterwards.  (I hope I don't have to revert to liquids again!)  The reason my surgeon decided that I need sedation plainly is that the pain of removal without it would be near unbearable.  In addition to the splint, he has to remove the wires under my gums and around my teeth that held everything in place during surgery.  There may be a lot of blood! But it will all be so incredibly worth it.

Day 54: Artsy Profile Shots

Was playing around with the Picstitch app for iPhone today and produced these artsy photos of my profile:

I wasted way too much time doing this so I thought I'd put them somewhere! Haha.  

Tomorrow I am attending a friends birthday party which will surely be an interesting experience.  Though I now have no reservations about seeing friends while I am dealing with the splint, I have yet to have been to an event since surgery with many people I barely know.  I am going to have to do so much explaining!  Regardless, I will not let the splint prevent me from enjoying myself.

Day 53: Soreness

I think I've been a little too adventurous with food.  I tried to eat a bag of chips today and nearly choked to death!  My mouth has been very sore from the strains of normal life-- I've been out with friends every day for the past week or so and desperate to feel normal again, I haven't used any discretion when choosing food.  Sandwiches, tacos, whatever it is I pretend that the splint doesn't exist and try to chew.  Even when not eating, I unthinkingly clamp down on the splint and push at it with my tongue as if in an attempt to destroy this foreign body in my mouth.  This has resulted in a dull pain in my upper jaw.  The surgeon also warned that I may have to return to soft foods after the splint comes out-- it sounds like it will prove to be a painful procedure.  As much as the thought of going under anesthesia again makes me uneasy, I still can't wait to be rid of this thing.  One more week!

Day 50: Almost There

I'm proud to report that my normal weight is completely restored!  No more heavy protein shakes or copious amounts of ice cream for me.  It feels good to regain control over the foods I eat.  Also, fifty days since surgery? Wow-- it's crazy to finally be nearing the end of all this.  Seven weeks into recovery, I definitely feel my self-confidence and happiness returning.  I am sick and tired of allowing everything jaw surgery-related hold me back!  Pre-surgery life seems like ages ago.  For the millionth time, I am SO ready to have all this metal and plastic out of my mouth-- NINE DAYS TILL SPLINT FREEDOM.

Day 46: Why Does Time Move So Slowly?

Ate a bag of chips today-- it was probably the wrong thing to do but felt SO right.  I'm beginning to just ignore all the stigma that accompanies this splint situation and get on with my life.  Nevertheless, I still hate the thing.  The other jaw bloggers I follow appear to have their splints removed at two weeks, a month, or even six weeks.  But two months?  It seems grossly overly-cautious to me.  Though I understand that my surgeon strives for perfection, I always question his decision to keep my splint in this long.  The only acceptable justification is that I have thin jaw bones, but even then I feel as though it has been more than long enough.  I realize that I've been repeating myself constantly about this, but I just can't help myself!

Tonight I had coffee with a friend I hadn't seen all summer and he didn't look twice at the thing-- he assured me that it looked like braces and that he didn't care about it in the slightest.  As we caught up, I nearly forgot that I am a recovering patient.  I am slowly realizing how fruitless it is to be so self-conscious: it's temporary pain in exchange for greater lifelong happiness!  Also, this is the funniest thing ever.

Day 44: Olympics & Numbness

This morning I awoke with considerable energy so I rolled out of bed, put on my workout clothes, and.... spent hours watching the London olympics.  They are just too addicting!  I'm fascinated by the heavily-muscled athletes who appear to breathe commitment, focus, strength, and willpower.  It is a raw, emotionally compelling event as well: the feeling of breaking a new record or advancing to finals seems to be the purest form of joy.  A few friends and I just finished watching women's gymnastics, marveling at their devotion to the sport-- if only I could have that sort of passion for something!

In jaw surgery-related news, I'm starting to regain the tiniest bit of feeling back in my gums!  Up until now, the gums holding my upper teeth in place have been completely numb since surgery.  Now it hurts a little if I poke certain parts- yay!  The surgeon warned that the nerves may not regenerate, but I'm hoping that this means they will.

Also: splint removal date confirmed for August 14th-- YES!  This means two weeks until splint freedom.  I cannot wait!

Day 43: California Sunshine!

It was a true blue sunny California day.  A friend and I visited the US Open of Surfing, a massive event consisting of hordes of bikini-clad beachgoers, booths on booths of unnecessary free stuff, and of course, surfing.  The place was peppered with photo-ops which I avoided as much as possible.

My friend did manage to snap this candid shot:

Shoes meant to be signed hang from strings around the event because why the hell not.

My profile looks so... normal!  I am relieved/amazed to not see my chin poking out.  After awhile, my friend finally persuaded me to take a photo with her, despite my reservations about my splinty smile.

From far away, it just looks like I have braces!
Because everyone likes comparisons, here's a photo of us before surgery:

It's a little difficult to see an enormous difference from these pictures, but it's definitely there. :)

Day 42: Splint Close-Up

Oh how I love feeling normal again!  Tonight consisted of going OUT to dinner, The Dark Knight Rises, and hours spent just hanging with friends.  One of my favorite types of nights-- and the splint hardly interfered.

Now that I have regained full mobility of my jaw, I thought I'd post a picture of my splint for those wondering what it looks like.  I recall not being able to find many clear photos of the thing while researching surgery, so here's mine: 

Hawt.

As is evident from the photo, the splint extends all the way to the back of my palate with a small opening through which I can touch the roof of my mouth.  I imagine this is what a horse feels like with that metal bit in its mouth.  Ugh.  Can't wait until I'm free of this awful thing!

Day 37: Breakable

"Have the courage to be imperfect."  I read this bit of inspiration on a friend's Facebook status (hi Claire if you happen to be reading this!) and began to rethink my post I wrote a few days ago.  Using this recovery time to begin to pick apart my other imperfections is definitely not the way I wanted to approach this situation.  Accepting exactly who and what you are is so essential to being happy, even in a time of these confusing, frustrating changes!

Now that I'm gaining more and more mobility in my jaw, I've been doing my best to ignore my splint and try to eat normally.  At the same time, I'm paranoid that the chewing I've been doing will somehow fracture my palate!  There are so many activities, such as riding a bike, that are now inaccessible for fear of breaking some of that fragile thin bone up there.  Even after the splint is out, my parents and surgeon have advised me against doing anything that may put my jaw in danger.  The last thing I want is for this surgery to grant me more limitations.  Hopefully in time, jaw surgery will not always sit uncomfortably at the back of my mind!

Day 34: Work Again & Ortho Visit

I'm typing this blog post through itching, burning, aching, squinting eyes.  After such a long respite from alarm clocks and responsibilities, I'm absolutely exhausted from my first day back at work.  It's not that my work is very demanding-- I am just interning from the summer-- but the project I am working on involves long energy-zapping intervals of staring at the computer.  Everyone was eager to ask about my surgery and how I was feeling-- I tried not to spit all over the place as I told them.  My boss told me he was glad to have me back!

My fatigue was not helped by having to go directly to the orthodontist after work, where I learned that I will have to remain in metal braces for at least SIX MONTHS after the splint is out.  When will this nightmare ever be over?  Granted braces aren't all that terrible, but I am just astounded by the length of time this whole process requires.  Because my orthodontist doesn't want to take any chances that my thin jawbones may splinter if I bite down too vigorously, he cannot rely on Invisalign to do the job.  So, braces it is.

I can now open my mouth about two finger-widths wide which means I've been more adventurous with foods.  If I am careful, I can pretty much consume anything within reason by lightly chewing with my splint.  Though I am so grateful for this, everything still has to be cut into small pieces so that food takes ages to consume.  I'm still trying to learn patience-- 28 days until splint freedom!

Day 33: Jaw Surgery Reflections

I have spent more time indoors this summer than ever before.  Ordinarily, I delight in taking the opportunity to travel: I am always thrilled to immerse myself in a new culture and language, see the sights, have adventures.  Today I spoke with my best friend via Facetime, someone I've traveled with each summer for the past four or five years.  Her adventure for the season ironically coincided with mine again, however now she is on a two-month excursion in Bolivia while I am here in a two-month experience in jaw surgery.  While she is becoming fluent in Spanish, I am becoming fluent in patience.  And Netflix.  I don't want to sound bitter by any means, but I guess I'm just becoming a little restless.  I'm so eager to go out and grab life by the horns while I am still young and able!  Regardless, I do believe I will come out of this that much more appreciative of each moment I don't have to spend struggling to talk, having wires tear the inside of my mouth, or sucking Ensure out of a syringe.  I may not have been able to see much of the world this summer, but I think this experience has deepened mine.

Tomorrow I return to work, which should be interesting.  As much as the I really should feeling is tugging at me, I am still so reluctant to see and talk to people who aren't close friends while I am in this state.  I also have an orthodontist appointment in which the man will once again attempt to bend down the wires in my gums (the assistant was unsuccessful the first time, I'm pretty sure it's impossible).  Also, I am eager to ask about the next steps to follow once the splint is finally out.  How long do I have to remain in braces?  Is it at all possible to switch to Invisalign?  I don't really understand what the difference would be between metal braces and Invisalign post-surgically-- if the objective is to hold the teeth in their new bite, can that not be done without wires and brackets?  I'm not sure if it's possible, but that would be absolutely amazing to have every scrap of metal (besides the plates holding my jaw together) out of my face by the end of the summer.

Day 32: Returning To Normal Life?

Splint-filled life is slowly beginning to resemble regular life: I'm feeling less like a patient and more like a person.  Today consisted of hanging out at the beach with a friend, watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and eating mac and cheese, pumpkin bread, and various other normal foods!  Though I can chew a little now, I still spit and stumble when I speak.  I am still reluctant to completely rejoin society as I am obviously self-conscious about the splint, but feel a strong obligation to return to work.  My boss has been more than accommodating: because I have to be able to talk for the job I haven't been in the office for this entire month!  I've decided to go back Thursday.  It will be strange to go out in public like this, but I keep telling myself that I need to be eased back in.  Life doesn't stop with jaw surgery, as nice as it would be to go to some island and chill there for another month until all of this is over.

My friend's dog helping the healing process.

Day 31: One Month In Pictures

Since I figure the majority of the swelling has now gone down, I thought it would be interesting to compile all of my progress pics over the month in this post!  Prepare to scroll:

Aaaand in profile:

There's definitely a little swelling around my lips and cheeks still, but I think I'm more or less at my final form!


I learned today that my appointment to get my splint out has been made for August 17th.  Another month from now.  Ugh.  Sometimes it seems like this process will never end-- my whole summer's shot!  I must have been too optimistic going into surgery, thinking that I would have a little free time without all the hardware in my mouth.  Nope.  The wires under my gums on the bottom are serving no purpose, staying in for the sole reason that taking them out requires the complete sedation that will accompany removal of the splint.  I wish I could tear them out myself, but I am powerless to do anything but wait.  I anxiously await the day when jaw surgery isn't always on my mind!

Day 30: New Obstacles

Eating has proved to be equally, if not more, of a challenge now that the bands are removed.  Liquids are infinitely easier to consume, but I am desperate to graduate to more normal foods.  Unfortunately, attempting to eat solids is excruciating.  I tried scrambled eggs this morning, and due to the limited movement of my jaw, could only scoop in tiny pieces at a time with a spoon.  The process took ages: I felt like that Buddhist prince who tried to achieve nirvana by eating a grain of rice per day!

I was successful with a Cup of Noodles though, which was amazing.  However, the way I ate felt disgusting: it was a slobbery display in which I used my tongue to maneuver the noodles into my mouth then mashed them around in an attempt to chew.  Regardless, I ate those noodles. And did not have to puree them.  YES.  Also whenever I'm hungry, the image of a syringe pops into my brain and I constantly have to remind myself that I am done with those horrible things for good!

Now that my mouth is gaining more feeling bit by bit, the pain of extended talking is near unbearable due to the thick metal wires under my gums that stick the inside of my cheeks and lips.  My tongue, which has finally escaped from its prison, can now feel the tender, torn flesh.  I layered dental wax on the worst offenders, but the wires seem to be sticking out everywhere.  Sometimes a lip gets caught while talking and-- OUCH.  Not a pleasant experience.  The stitches under my upper lip are also coming out, which I asked my surgeon about.  His response was dismissive-- apparently they are supposed to dissolve?

Here's a close up of what's going on in there (kinda gross, sorry!): 

The white stuff is wax, don't worry!

The splint is that clear plastic thing that fits over my upper teeth-- it extends all the way back like a retainer.  According to the surgeon, the epoxied brackets were not strong enough to hold my jaw in place during surgery, so he fashioned the wires on the bottom around my teeth and under my gums.  Those things are the worst.  

I'm not sure if it's evident from this picture, but my bite is now perfect!  Once all of that crazy metal is removed, my teeth will fit together quite nicely.  At this I am so relieved-- this lengthy ordeal is proving to be worth it.